By elaine | January 21, 2014
At a Yellow Ribbon workshop recently, I asked the group to respond to this question: “When your spouse returns home, how do you go about feeling comfortable with each other again, and resume good communication?” Here are a few of the answers I received:
- Always make it a priority to keep communication open during deployment. It really helped bridge the gap when he came home. Anything helps – texting, email and Skype or Facetime. But also understanding (not getting mad) at the times that he was not able to talk to me.
- When I returned, I made sure to ask my wife what I could do to help around the house. I didn’t just sit around.
- We made sure we spent good quality time together right from the start. I know some people differ on this, but we talked about his experience, and my feelings about the deployment. That open communication helped us both understand each other and what we both went through.
- I got this idea from Pinterest. I created “date sticks” each with a different date idea on it in different price ranges. They were for date days, nights, getaways or even short moments together. When we wanted time, we picked a date stick from the pack.
- Together we took the Four Lenses training so we better understood our personality types. That helped us see things from the other’s “perspective.”
- We took it slow and hung out at home. I asked a few initial questions and then we would go out (away from home) and talk about daily things. That was a better way to get to know each other again.
Thanks to everyone who contributed their thoughts and ideas.